Half-Way

Last chemo was a clusterfuck. I ate an expired yogurt on the way to the hospital and threw it up about 2 minutes after they gave me my superdose of anti-nausea meds.

Then we played a brief game of "find the pills in the puke" that ended in a tie. Judgment call: let's just forge ahead and pretend like I didn't just probably throw up all my anti-nausea meds.

The nurse explained "anticipatory nausea" to me. I explained expired yogurt to her. She recommend I take some of the drug I was already on (Ativan). I doubt I threw up because I was anticipating all the not throwing up that chemo brings.

Wed night and Thursday I did not feel as ... less bad as I usually do. They went rougher than normal. But that's also at least in part because I spent Thurs working from home and fighting with the vacation company about giving me my fucking money back. Lost cause, that.

Then flash forward to today. It's been another weekend not worth talking about. Sitting around watching TV and playing Skyrim, trying to eat when I'm not really hungry. I came in late to work today and I'm writing this post from the office but whatever, I'm here.

My doctor says that more people than I realized have clear scans at my point, which is why the other doctor was so "optimistic." But I shouldn't worry, it's not predictive of future problems. He wants me to meet with a radiation specialist to discuss the possibility of getting something like 20 doses of radiation.

I'm half-way done. I'm here. I'm on my way.