Anticipatory

Haven't posted in a while because what I have to post about is mondo depressing.

Mondo? Anyway.

Round 7 of chemo had an interesting surprise: apparently round 6's fun bout of puke-iness was not an isolated incident! Despite seeming to be triggered by a legitimate stomach issue, the phenomenon was repeated last week, minus the eating of expired foods.

It seems now, when I enter the infusion ward, I throw up. Before I get the chemo infusion that makes me feel like shit for what used to be days and is now pretty much permanent. My body basically just says NOOOOOOOOOO which makes sense, it can't be expected to understand that without poison it will die.

I'm told I can try to fight this by taking more Atavin, so ok, I will try. But chemo all in all is starting to kick my ass and I'm not super happy about it!

Here's the good news: based on the results of my next PET/CT (to be conducted after my next round of chemo) I might be switching from chemo to radiation, which I'm told has less in terms of short term side effects.

I mean, sure, it comes with the risk of lung cancer in 15-20 years, but pumping more chemo drugs in my body increases my risk of leukemia in that same time span since we currently have no cure for cancer THAT DOES NOT CAUSE CANCER. So it's kind of 6 of one, half dozen of the other.

That means my next round of chemo could be my last. And the decision is up to me, really. If the scan shows some cancer still, the recommendation is radiation. If it's clean, I can sort of call it like I feel it, and I think I am done with chemo.

Radiation will be every day for a month. And that is cause for celebration. Gives you a sense of where I'm at these days.

In other news, pain makes it hard for me to fall asleep, but apparently so does Oxycodone.